Featuring me.
Here's how it all started...
Inevitably after years of being worn every day, trousers get a bit old and tired and may well start lacking in the crotch area. Much like an old man might. That was the day, flashing was becoming too much of a risk so new trousers were needed.
Strangely, both Molly and I had the same crotch problem, so off we went on our epic adventure to find new trousers.
We arrived in the general office with the usual feeling of being out of place as I urged Molly to do the talking. I was frightened.
"Why do you need new trousers?" the HR lady asked us.
"We have no crotch." Molly responded as truthfully as was possible. This was met with a mixture of confusion and distaste.
Off we went to the uniform cupboard, where they keep the mountains of various randomly sized uniforms, to retrieve our new crotches. In fact, they were actually nice enough to give us entire new trousers! Such generosity.
Off we went back upstairs to try out our new trousers. Here is a review:
My new trousers were a little tighter than I had expected, but I suppose they will wear in, like a pair of new jeans. My old ones were more comfortable, I will have to do a lot of bizarre stretching to bring my new ones to anywhere near the comfort of the old ones. But the massive pro is this: they come with a built in, ready made, fully assembled crotch, which in this day and age is a luxury, so I can't fault them based on the reason I got them in the first place. Maybe I should have got a bigger size, but I'm sure they'll be fine with time. People will just have to get used to me doing strange squats in the changing rooms for the forseeable future.
And there we go. For the rest of the day, Molly and I had a kind of waddle to our walks, and I was caught on several occasions in strange poses trying to wear them in. Like a pair of new shoes.
At least we no longer had the great peril of crotch exposure looming over us.
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