Sleep patterns.

I suppose happy new years are in order. Hope everyone had a good time and all that.

I'm proud of myself, I've seen this blog through to another year, and it must be my blogliversery soon. Liver.

I don't really have a new year's resolution this year as such, because I know I never keep them, and all the things I would say are things I've been trying to do for ages anyway. The fact that it's a new year doesn't make me any more likely to actually change.

My sleep patterns are fucked. I went to bed at 7:30 last night and woke up at 6 this morning, and was still tired at work today. I napped this evening for an hour or so. I'm just always bloody tired. I hate it, I feel like it's making me into a bastard person, a grouch and a bore. Blerrghh. I hope it's just winter and there's not actually something wrong with me. I'm gonna get some vitamin tablets to rule out deficiencies. I just need to sort my life out really, is all.

I do have a few things I've decided I should do this year, talking of sorting one's life out, they're not really resolutions, more of a to-do list.

- Grow some food.
- Sort out all my stuff and get rid of as much as possible.
- Get a new job (this includes a different role within the same store)
- Adopt a healthier lifestyle
- Go on holiday

I'd also like to start LIVING, not merely existing. There's more to living than being alive, so they say, and I wanna try it. It is exhausting walking up in the morning when you'd rather be asleep, to got to a job you hate, usually in shitty weather, to have another shitty day, to then go home and watch crap on telly that you don't even enjoy, before going to bed - the only good part of the day. No one should spend every day just looking forward to going back to sleep at the end of it, that's not living. Though more than anything I think it's my attitude I need to change, I don't HAVE to hate doing all these things. I just do. It's not a conscious decisions to hate stuff, but it is a decision somewhere in your brain, and I just need to make a conscious decision to stop being so neggy and at least try to hate the shit stuff a little less.

Winter makes everything harder.

January sucks.

blergh.