tried to save myself but myself keeps slipping away

My hormones are a huge mess at the moment. After having the Mirena coil fitted a couple of weeks ago I've been ruled by it. It's messing with me so much that I have no idea how I actually feel about anything, and I'm often a nightmare to be around.

I was reading horror stories about it yesterday (huge mistake, I know) and I completely understand how some people have had their careers and relationships ruined by the hormonal storm that takes place inside your body. I've had to work SO HARD at not snapping at people and not being a completely unreasonable bitch. I would definitely be under investigation at work right now and in a tricky place in my relationship if I hadn't spent years already mastering the art of telling the difference between being irrational and being normal, and being able to keep the irrational bullshit inside my own mind most of the time.

It's exhausting me, it's making me crave the worst foods, it's making me volatile, and I hate it. I'm hoping it will settle down soon because it's only been two weeks and I already don't know how much longer I can carry on feeling physically and emotionally like shit all the damn time.

I think the hardest part is that it's taking over my mind. The lines between rational me and irrational me and becoming blurry, and I don't like that. So right now I'm in a position where I'm not comfortable sharing anything I feel because I'm not sure if it's rational or if I'm being stupid. I've become very good at recognising the difference, but it's being compromised by this new and unfamiliar entity at the moment. I don't want to push people away, and even though those closest to me have been incredible in their patience with me I can't keep pushing it.

I've been mentally "okay" for a while now, and I'm pretty upset that I'm taking steps backwards just because of the desire not to become pregnant anytime soon. This sucks so much, and the alternatives suck too, so I guess for now I'm going to have to ride out the shitty part and hope it gets better in time.