the future is now

Who did you think you'd be now when you were younger? Are you that person?

Something really simple yet really complex all at once dawned on my the other day. That person in my plans for the future, doing all the thing I see in my future, is me. I never made the connection before. I guess when I was younger I assumed I would be a different person when I'm older, but I'm just not as different as I thought I'd be. I mean, I have changed since I was 10 or 14 or 18, but I'm not neccessarily a different person. I'm certainly not the person who I saw in the future thoughts.

The person I saw was a lot more confident, and definately didn't have a job in catering. The person I saw had a job they enjoy, not one they dread going to. It was a job in politics, or something else important.

Thinking about time is strange. I'm not worried about running out of it. I know one day I will, but that's not what this is about. I don't like where I'm at now. I don't like what I'm doing. And I don't like who I am very much either. I don't like much about now to be honest.

I'm having a low day.