other people

I have a problem with my perception of other people.

Bascially, working 39 hours a week, 4 early shifts in a row, at a moderately physical job is wearing me down. And it's wearing me down even more because I wear myself down wondering why it's wearing me down, when other people seem to do loads of hours an loads of things all the time without it affecting them in the same way it affects me. I feel tired and grumpy and sad and a little bit ill today. And REALLY FUCKING IRRITABLE. Other people don't seem to feel like this.

My theory is this:
I set my expectations of what I can do too high, based on the fact that I think other people are naturally like super heroes, but really it's because I can't feel how they're feeling, so I automatically assume they're not feeling bad at all. Maybe, they actually are, and much like myself don't go around shouting about it. People say they're tired all the damn time, yet somehow when I'm really tired it's suddenly a big deal to me, like some kind of failure, because I think I should be able to cope with anything. And I can't. And it's hitting home just how wussy my limits are. I get tired well easily, and I'm not even slightly a morning person, and I can stop kidding myself that I'll ever get into a routine.

Maybe I was just right all along though, maybe I do just tire way more easily than other people. I suppose for some reason when I was younger I always expected myself to grow up to be one of those remarkable people who can just keep going, and never seems to get stressed or tired. It's disappointing to realise that I'm not, and never will be, one of those people.